Yeah ok so I am going to blog and not mention rugby.... well I have to be a good sport and say congrats to SA - but the boys did well too . Go on dads army!

But I thought that if I ever had time to blog this would be it @ 1am after struggling with work for about 4 hours. Now I can understand how the malaysian people do it, just whenever they think of somthing and dont want to forget it, and someone out there COULD be remotely interested.

I read something recently that disturbed me. I guess that you realise things about yourself when your actions affect people in ways that you couldnt ever imagine. I think I know what the author was trying to express, but didnt expect that particular result. I know that hurting anyone can affect people in many ways. She tried to not hurt me, but she ended up hurting herself. I didnt want to hurt myself anymore, I want to make things better, for both of us I thought and I hurt her. It just goes to show that you can never predict and account for everything. I just think that in the piece I read the word selfish has never been more inappropriately used. She is definatly not that, and it is with great regret than any of my actions lead to her thinking that way.

And typing this I cant help but be thankful for the delete buton. You know how many times the paragraph has been re-written!? About the same times as I started by calculations again, but with much less progress - at least I know I wil finish this blog.

As the work mounts up I start to think how I will lead my life. Will I be the same person as last year - more dedicated, more lonesome, more friendly, more unlucky, more lucky, leading my own destiny or living with regret. If you think about it, as fast as my hands type this life goes by. Time is the one thing that when you need you will never have and it must be made for life's special treats - but only for the deserving - do I deserve?

... starting to like blogging - you are forced to think about things - .... I can see why you do it la!

..as a song "Would you be happier..." by the Corrs comes on I ask myself what will make me happier, or more importantly what makes me happy? It is a question that I have asked myself and although there have been moments in my life when I felt I couldnt be happier - even at random times (4am) I have struggled to answer. But then I guess isnt that life - a struggle... but on the course for happiness? Maybe - I'm jealous to people who are happy. I find it at times, but then as quick as it comes it goes again. I need it in a dosage form that is portable, convienent and patient friendly.... well this couldnt be my blog without a PHARMACY reference could there!

I wonder if there is a size limit on these blog things... all I know is that Ive been going through a few decent songs - and actually LISTENING to the words. WOW - now thats something I could be/ I might already be a good listener, but then who listens to the good listener. Is the listener allowed to have problems, no because he is there to listen not to talk and anyway who would listen?

Well I think that Im blogged out for now - but I will be doing this a bit more often.

And I want to say that it doesnt matter what I call her.... I do have someone to listen and I hope she gets the time,happiness and everything else she deserves.