I know everyone moans about lack of time when at uni, work and play getting in the way but I make use of that excuse.... since october so I found out today.
So basically I havent blogged for ages and I have been working all term. Dont get me wrong I have had every opportunity to chill, relax and do my work but Im not the best at organising my time, and I am the first to complain and moan. This ends now, simple grow up man!
People come into your life and they leave, fact - "deal". Get over it, dust yourself off and meet new people. With the amount of people in this world there will always be new people to meet, enemies to make and friends to cherish. So why have I felt lonely somtimes this year then? When I am at a uni with at least 17,500 students why can I not find someone to go with me out to parties. The honest answer I dont know.
I think Im a likeable chap, always willing to go out and meet new people but I have my own priorities in my life. Fair enough everyone does whether it is religion, family, uni work like me. Doesnt seem to get anyone else down. I can see people ruining their life by not working at uni, but being so happy about it drinking, having fun enjoying life. I enjoy my work, and whilst I pay this much for the chance to get my degree, and kick start my career I find out that I have to pay more the £.... or do I?
How do they do it? Going out all the time, doing lots of activities and doing their work. Personally I dont think they do. Thinking about things I dont think they do. Either their work suffers, they dont continue with the activities or their social life suffers. So why do I think I am special and I do everything? Because I believe I can! Is that so wrong, is that a stupid idea... a bridge to far?
Ok maybe I should re-organise my priorities, but my work is the most important thing. I should probably make sure that I have enough time to do everything. But then sleeping goes, food, friends. Friends? hold on - if I have enough time for everything why do I sit alone in my room. I have time to go out - I just dont. Why? Havent met the right people? Make them the right people - go out have fun, and friendships are formed. This brings me back to it, people come and go - "deal"
So what things must change - wel I dont know but over this xmas hols I will think it over. 2nd year blues - offically over.
A thought to leave with - an example why I need to change,
" You dont compliment anyone"
"But then when I do I really mean it..."
"True but do you not appriciate things/people enough to complement them more, or do the people around you not meet up to your expectations?"
I dont have an answer - I never do
PS.
Whatever you do/celebrate over this holiday period I hope you enjoy it, and that everyone has a Happy New Year!
Sunday, 23 December 2007
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
... how does she do that?
.... and after that post she is still asleep but can still make me happy when I see her comment for previous post.
Ok so Im blur when I log in but I thought it was sweet enough to post ok??!!?!
:P
Ok so Im blur when I log in but I thought it was sweet enough to post ok??!!?!
:P
Yeah ok so I am going to blog and not mention rugby.... well I have to be a good sport and say congrats to SA - but the boys did well too . Go on dads army!
But I thought that if I ever had time to blog this would be it @ 1am after struggling with work for about 4 hours. Now I can understand how the malaysian people do it, just whenever they think of somthing and dont want to forget it, and someone out there COULD be remotely interested.
I read something recently that disturbed me. I guess that you realise things about yourself when your actions affect people in ways that you couldnt ever imagine. I think I know what the author was trying to express, but didnt expect that particular result. I know that hurting anyone can affect people in many ways. She tried to not hurt me, but she ended up hurting herself. I didnt want to hurt myself anymore, I want to make things better, for both of us I thought and I hurt her. It just goes to show that you can never predict and account for everything. I just think that in the piece I read the word selfish has never been more inappropriately used. She is definatly not that, and it is with great regret than any of my actions lead to her thinking that way.
And typing this I cant help but be thankful for the delete buton. You know how many times the paragraph has been re-written!? About the same times as I started by calculations again, but with much less progress - at least I know I wil finish this blog.
As the work mounts up I start to think how I will lead my life. Will I be the same person as last year - more dedicated, more lonesome, more friendly, more unlucky, more lucky, leading my own destiny or living with regret. If you think about it, as fast as my hands type this life goes by. Time is the one thing that when you need you will never have and it must be made for life's special treats - but only for the deserving - do I deserve?
... starting to like blogging - you are forced to think about things - .... I can see why you do it la!
..as a song "Would you be happier..." by the Corrs comes on I ask myself what will make me happier, or more importantly what makes me happy? It is a question that I have asked myself and although there have been moments in my life when I felt I couldnt be happier - even at random times (4am) I have struggled to answer. But then I guess isnt that life - a struggle... but on the course for happiness? Maybe - I'm jealous to people who are happy. I find it at times, but then as quick as it comes it goes again. I need it in a dosage form that is portable, convienent and patient friendly.... well this couldnt be my blog without a PHARMACY reference could there!
I wonder if there is a size limit on these blog things... all I know is that Ive been going through a few decent songs - and actually LISTENING to the words. WOW - now thats something I could be/ I might already be a good listener, but then who listens to the good listener. Is the listener allowed to have problems, no because he is there to listen not to talk and anyway who would listen?
Well I think that Im blogged out for now - but I will be doing this a bit more often.
And I want to say that it doesnt matter what I call her.... I do have someone to listen and I hope she gets the time,happiness and everything else she deserves.
But I thought that if I ever had time to blog this would be it @ 1am after struggling with work for about 4 hours. Now I can understand how the malaysian people do it, just whenever they think of somthing and dont want to forget it, and someone out there COULD be remotely interested.
I read something recently that disturbed me. I guess that you realise things about yourself when your actions affect people in ways that you couldnt ever imagine. I think I know what the author was trying to express, but didnt expect that particular result. I know that hurting anyone can affect people in many ways. She tried to not hurt me, but she ended up hurting herself. I didnt want to hurt myself anymore, I want to make things better, for both of us I thought and I hurt her. It just goes to show that you can never predict and account for everything. I just think that in the piece I read the word selfish has never been more inappropriately used. She is definatly not that, and it is with great regret than any of my actions lead to her thinking that way.
And typing this I cant help but be thankful for the delete buton. You know how many times the paragraph has been re-written!? About the same times as I started by calculations again, but with much less progress - at least I know I wil finish this blog.
As the work mounts up I start to think how I will lead my life. Will I be the same person as last year - more dedicated, more lonesome, more friendly, more unlucky, more lucky, leading my own destiny or living with regret. If you think about it, as fast as my hands type this life goes by. Time is the one thing that when you need you will never have and it must be made for life's special treats - but only for the deserving - do I deserve?
... starting to like blogging - you are forced to think about things - .... I can see why you do it la!
..as a song "Would you be happier..." by the Corrs comes on I ask myself what will make me happier, or more importantly what makes me happy? It is a question that I have asked myself and although there have been moments in my life when I felt I couldnt be happier - even at random times (4am) I have struggled to answer. But then I guess isnt that life - a struggle... but on the course for happiness? Maybe - I'm jealous to people who are happy. I find it at times, but then as quick as it comes it goes again. I need it in a dosage form that is portable, convienent and patient friendly.... well this couldnt be my blog without a PHARMACY reference could there!
I wonder if there is a size limit on these blog things... all I know is that Ive been going through a few decent songs - and actually LISTENING to the words. WOW - now thats something I could be/ I might already be a good listener, but then who listens to the good listener. Is the listener allowed to have problems, no because he is there to listen not to talk and anyway who would listen?
Well I think that Im blogged out for now - but I will be doing this a bit more often.
And I want to say that it doesnt matter what I call her.... I do have someone to listen and I hope she gets the time,happiness and everything else she deserves.
Sunday, 14 October 2007
I dont know why but I am so keen to get into blogging - but am just not used to it. And its hard when I dont have the people I love around me to remind me.
But it does seem strange that when I do decide to blog I am happy - and it has somthing to do with Rugby!... Ye if you didnt know England got into the World Cup Final for a 2nd sucessive time. So after watching the match last night I am proud of the boys - they did very well.
So after reading someone else's story I just remember how much fun I had last year. I can tell you know that I wont have the same amount this year but I am sad in the fact that I actually enjoy my course. There is a silver lining. I like my course so much I use to title my blog!
But I miss the people who I didnt know two years ago, but now do and do not see. It is not worse than never knowing but it feels that way sometime. Great times, not to be forgotten. But times that somtimes upset when they seem distant memories.
Times, as the days march on - I call for a stop!
Coupe de Mode 2007 - l'angleterre gagner!
But it does seem strange that when I do decide to blog I am happy - and it has somthing to do with Rugby!... Ye if you didnt know England got into the World Cup Final for a 2nd sucessive time. So after watching the match last night I am proud of the boys - they did very well.
So after reading someone else's story I just remember how much fun I had last year. I can tell you know that I wont have the same amount this year but I am sad in the fact that I actually enjoy my course. There is a silver lining. I like my course so much I use to title my blog!
But I miss the people who I didnt know two years ago, but now do and do not see. It is not worse than never knowing but it feels that way sometime. Great times, not to be forgotten. But times that somtimes upset when they seem distant memories.
Times, as the days march on - I call for a stop!
Coupe de Mode 2007 - l'angleterre gagner!
Saturday, 18 August 2007
Thoughts whilst watching the game...
Well I want to first say that if you are reading this you really should have much better things to do! However after spending far too much time with a group of malaysians I have decided to give this blogging thing a go. Please dont expect an exciting read but I think that blogging can be another way to put of doing work, so Im all for it.
After working in my "holiday" I relish any chance I get to relax, but a few things prevent that. Lets just say computers and family shouldn'b mix without the proper health and saftey precautions, helmet and saftey goggles required.
But sitting here, cursing the time difference around the globe but watching a rugby game with a beer in hand I can say that somtimes life is goooooood.
Other times its stressful, upsetting and seems terrible....
But whatever it seems like we should all be thankful and whatever we do, we should never forget....
the days go by, but must be remembered...
After working in my "holiday" I relish any chance I get to relax, but a few things prevent that. Lets just say computers and family shouldn'b mix without the proper health and saftey precautions, helmet and saftey goggles required.
But sitting here, cursing the time difference around the globe but watching a rugby game with a beer in hand I can say that somtimes life is goooooood.
Other times its stressful, upsetting and seems terrible....
But whatever it seems like we should all be thankful and whatever we do, we should never forget....
the days go by, but must be remembered...
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